how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
