Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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