just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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