fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
