when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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