Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How's work?
Spinning.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
