So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
