I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize