I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
