I am full of burrito and curiosity
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
