i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
