just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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