Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
