I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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