also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
