WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
