Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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