hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
