Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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