and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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