I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
