i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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