dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
