Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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