NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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