He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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