I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
