I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
His nipple licking is glorious
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