I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
