We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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