he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
