thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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