You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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