eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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