The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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