well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
