this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
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it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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