it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
