you turned your livingroom into a bong?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
