there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My dick has a subreddit
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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