Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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