It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
