Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
