While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
