no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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