i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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