I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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