I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
