Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
