Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
its liver damage thursday
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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