what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
