were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
