The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
