I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
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Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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