so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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