Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
