How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
