I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
