At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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