is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
