So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
