He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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