Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
