Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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