Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
