is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
