you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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