I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
