That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Houston, we have a squirter
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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