Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
