and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
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morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
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I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize